Okay, so I’ve just got back from the gym. I did the 4:30pm pump class and it was pretty full. Full of idiots. I’ve never seen so many people who lack the most basic form of intelligence in one room. It started with a woman running in late and setting up right next to me. I mean, almost on top of me. And I was next to the wall with all the equipment already. So she squeezes in between me and the equipment (because she’s late she wants to set up quickly, hence being close to the gear). Already that annoys me. Get out of my space. I was here early, and you’re banging around during the warm up track, and you’re making me worry I’m going to crack you on the head with my bar while you’re bending down not looking up. THEN I look around. There’s a woman in front of me with a MANE of hair. It’s long, and there’s lots of it. And it’s out. I can’t stand people exercising with their long hair out, it just bugs me. Then after the squat track, she has to get her friend to help her get the bar off her shoulders (her friend meanwhile is hot – she’s tiny and lifting weight that blokes do). IDIOT. Lift weight you can cope with, or tie your hair up so your bar doesn’t get stuck in it.
Then there’s a guy near me with HIS hair out, wearing a cap, boardies and a WALKMAN. A cassette walkman. If he’s trying to be retro cool, it’s failing. Can you hear the instructions over your Best of Summer 1992 compilation?
Then, I notice in the mirror that my new closest friend is lifting really heavy weight, but can’t actually do it. So she’s got no range of motion and she’s totally struggling. Instead of adjusting her weights, this continues all class. I’m all for self improvement, but this is just retarded.
Then there’s the chick a few in front of me. I could snap her over my knee, but that’s not her fault. She checks her phone throughout class, while NEVER lifting more than 1.25kg on each end. Not even on her leg tracks. She doesn’t look like the sort of person who might be urgently needed at the hospital. Maybe put the phone away, or don’t come?
I notice during the chest track that Mane Woman has her legs straight up in the air (everyone else is on their backs with feet on the floor) and she jiggling them around to the music. Right. Then on the bicep track, she’s marching on the spot in time to the music. Can’t you just stand there? Get your free spirit the hell away from me.
Then during the shoulder track, my new bestie grabs my spare 2.5kg plates to do the arm work. I look at her, stand up, walk to the other side where HER spare weight is, and pick that up. IDIOT. She says sorry. Whatever.
Then at the end of the ab track, the old guy to my right does a backwards somersault almost into me when the instructor says to roll over. I don’t think she meant it quite so literally. However then he goes on to ignore her stretches, doing some crap yoga moves of his own. It just looked like showing off.
Add to all this an instructor wearing fluro yellow (singlet, VISOR (indoors), shoes), and I was ready to snap. I couldn’t wait to get out of there. I know this is all very suburban complaining about my afternoon gym class, but I had to vent. And I feel slightly better. Time to take Ped for a walk.
oh, Mhairi’s got contractions but they’ve only just started, so it’s going to be a while yet.